Charles Rosenthal Harris County District Attorney Press Release

Since Republicans always speak in double speak and you have to read between the lines to figure out what the hell they really mean, a friend of mine deciphered the latest press release from Charles "Horny Ass" Rosenthal Soon to be Former Harris County District Attorney

"For Immediate Release:
Contact: Chuck Rosenthal
Friday, December 28, 2007
713-755-5810

Statement by Chuck Rosenthal

Recently some Harris County District Attorney inner office emails
have been released in the media. It makes me look like a hypocrite in
the Republican party, which lately is not hard to do.

I understand that I have said some things that have caused pain and
difficulty for my family, like saying in an email that I wanted to
have sex with my secretary, or simply wanting to caress her supple
firm breasteses. I deeply regret having said those things although I
had quite a woody when I did it.

I also understand that sometimes things happen for a purpose. Maybe
this will encourage my wife to leave my sorry ass, or for the Harris
County Republican Party to denounce my adulterous behavior and demand
my resignation. But I am not going to hold my breath since the party
is a bigger puss than my wife. And my wife knows who her daddy is.

This event has served as a wake-up call to me to raise myself to a
higher level both literally and figuratively.

Charles "Horny Ass" Rosenthal
Soon to be Former Harris County District Attorney"

ROSENTHAL-TOUGH ENOUGH TO PROSECUTE CRIME,

TENDER ENOUGH TO KISS YOU BEHIND THE EAR